A Whale's Perspective on Your Whale-Themed Vacation
On throw pillows, scrimshaw, and the fascinating journey from "rendered into lamp fuel" to "embroidered on your pants."
Fictional Voices, Real Island Vibes
Satirical takes on the personalities you'll meet
Every island has its characters. Our fictional contributors capture the lighter side of Nantucket life—the exasperated year-rounders, the summer families who are "basically locals," the wellness influencers, the shark hunters, and the lobster roll purists. These satirical voices represent the personalities you might encounter, exaggerated for your entertainment.
Fresh takes from our contributors
On throw pillows, scrimshaw, and the fascinating journey from "rendered into lamp fuel" to "embroidered on your pants."
"How long has your family been coming here?" "Forever." "Can you give me a year?" "...2009."
Fourteen women. Zero RSVPs. One surprise toddler. A cautionary tale for maid of honors everywhere.
When even a Whitmore has to wait 47 minutes at the private terminal, something has gone terribly wrong.
Mimi champions restaurants opened in the last 5 years. Innovation isn't disrespect—it's evolution.
A step-by-step guide to proper cobblestone walking. Don't stop in the middle. Don't photograph your feet.
Brittany gets real about bicycle safety after rosé. Supportive and positive, but includes a cautionary tale.
Sandy investigates the disturbing trend of beachgoers moving seaweed to their neighbors' areas.
Pete reviews his ever-growing arsenal. Every item gets 5 stars despite none helping him see a shark.
For $350, discover what the island has been trying to tell you. Payment plans available. Transformation guaranteed.
Mapping the island's shores by vibrational frequency, chakra alignment, and energetic intention.
When our critics clash
Two food critics, two philosophies, one crustacean. Harold defends tradition (mayo, always mayo). Mimi champions butter.
Harold's Mayo Manifesto •
Mimi's Butter Response
Harold's Rebuttal
Are food trucks a menace or a revolution? Harold says dining requires sitting. Mimi disagrees.
Year-rounder vs. summer kid: Dotty catalogs the species, Trip demands respect. Both claim to love the island. Only one has been here since 1821.
Chakras vs. parking spots: Sloane maps beaches by vibrational frequency. Dotty responds with 67 years of practical knowledge. Sloane holds space for Dotty's resistance.
Sloane: Spiritual Guide •
Dotty: Practical Guide
Sloane: Holding Space
Dee Bunker talks to our contributors
A conversation about family legacy, FBO wait times, and what sixteen summers really means. Trip mentions Richard four times. Dee asks follow-up questions.
Find your favorites
Our op-ed section features a colorful cast of fictional characters, each bringing their own perspective to island life. From exasperated year-rounders to enthusiastic event planners, from feuding food critics to hapless shark hunters—get to know the voices behind the opinions.
We cover: The fun stuff. Food debates, beach etiquette, tourist observations (gentle ribbing only), ferry vs. plane debates, bike path politics, wildlife encounters, and all the lighthearted quirks of island life.
We don't cover: Serious community issues like housing affordability, healthcare access, or real political controversies. Those topics deserve real journalism by real people—not fictional characters.
Be the first to read the latest from our contributors. New columns, heated debates, and the continuing saga of Captain Pete vs. Reginald the seal.
Unsubscribe anytime. We won't spam you—Sandy wouldn't approve.