Cobblestone Walking: An Etiquette Manifesto

Every summer, I watch approximately three thousand people discover cobblestones for the first time. Their faces light up. Their phones come out. And then they stop. Right there. In the middle of Main Street. To commune with rocks.

Allow me to offer some guidance.

Rule 1: Do Not Stop In The Middle

The cobblestones are not going anywhere. They have been here since the 1830s. They will be here when you come back. They do not require you to stand directly on top of them to appreciate their historicity.

If you must stop—and I understand the impulse, I do—please move to the side. Pretend the cobblestones are a river. You are a rock. Not literally a rock, obviously. A metaphorical rock. Stay to the side. Let the flow continue.

Rule 2: Do Not Photograph Your Feet

I have seen this thousands of times. The slow stop. The careful positioning. The downward angle of the phone. Click. Another photograph of feet on cobblestones.

I'm not going to tell you what to do with your phone. But I will tell you this: those cobblestones have been walked on by whaling captains, abolitionists, Maria Mitchell, and now your sandals. Maybe focus on literally anything else.

Rule 3: Do Not Ask If They're "Original"

They are. Mostly. Some have been replaced over the years because, unlike your questions, stones do eventually wear out. But yes, the general vibe is original.

I watched them relay some of these stones in 1987. I was forty years old. This is not ancient history to me. This is Tuesday.

Rule 4: Respect The Heels

If you choose to wear heels on cobblestones, that is your business. I admire your confidence. I question your planning. But please: if you're going to wobble, wobble to the side. The rest of us have places to be.

Rule 5: The Crosswalk Is Not A Photo Studio

The crosswalk on Main Street is, yes, photogenic. It is also a crosswalk. People are trying to cross. Cars are trying not to hit them. Your group photo can wait.

I once watched a family of seven arrange themselves across the entire crosswalk for a photo. Seven people. Arms linked. Matching shirts. A driver waited. Then another. Then a small line formed. The photographer asked them to "look more candid."

There is nothing candid about blocking traffic.

Rule 6: Yes, They're Bumpy. That's The Point.

I have heard people complain that the cobblestones are "uneven" and "hard to walk on." Yes. They are stones. They were laid two hundred years ago by hand. They are not a sidewalk. They are not meant to be smooth. They are meant to be themselves.

Wear appropriate shoes. Watch your step. This is not the cobblestones' fault. They're doing their best.

In Conclusion

Look, I know I sound cranky. I am cranky. But I've been walking these streets for sixty-seven years, and I've learned to love them precisely because they're imperfect, historic, and authentic.

Just... keep moving while you love them too. Some of us have groceries to buy.