Harold Benchley III
Op-Ed July 10, 2023

In Defense of Mayo: A Lobster Roll Manifesto

A definitive case for mayo-based lobster rolls, drawing on family tradition, proper technique, and the fundamental truth that innovation in this domain is merely confusion.

Let me be perfectly clear from the outset: this is not a debate. The question of mayonnaise versus butter in a lobster roll was settled decades ago, and the correct answer is mayonnaise. I am writing this not to convince, but to document the truth for posterity.

A Matter of Heritage

The Benchley family has been summering on Nantucket since 1962. In that time, we have consumed what I estimate to be approximately 2,400 lobster rolls, all prepared in the traditional New England style: fresh lobster meat, lightly dressed with mayonnaise, served in a split-top bun that has been—this is crucial—properly toasted in butter.

Note that I say the BUN is toasted in butter. This is the only acceptable use of butter in proximity to a lobster roll. The butter imparts a subtle richness to the bread while allowing the mayonnaise to do its proper work with the lobster itself.

The Science of the Matter

Mayonnaise, as any educated person understands, is an emulsion. It binds to the lobster meat in a way that butter, a mere fat, simply cannot replicate. The mayonnaise creates a coating that keeps the lobster moist while adding a gentle tang that enhances—not masks—the sweetness of the meat.

Butter, by contrast, is aggressive. It overwhelms. A butter lobster roll is not a lobster roll at all; it is buttered lobster on bread. One might as well skip the pretense and eat lobster with a fork and a ramekin of drawn butter, which is acceptable in certain contexts but has no place in roll form.

The Question of Tradition

My colleague Mrs. St. Claire—and I use the term "colleague" loosely—has been known to advocate for the butter preparation, and even, I am told, for various "fusion" approaches involving ingredients I shall not dignify by naming.

To this I say: tradition exists for a reason. Our grandparents, and their grandparents before them, settled upon the mayonnaise preparation because it is correct. They were not confused by modern notions of "innovation" or "creativity." They simply ate the lobster roll in its proper form and were satisfied.

Why we should now abandon their wisdom in favor of culinary experimentation is beyond my comprehension.

A Proper Lobster Roll, Defined

For those who wish to consume a lobster roll in the correct manner, I offer the following specifications:

The Lobster: Fresh, never frozen. Claw and knuckle meat preferred. Tail is acceptable but can be chewy if not properly handled.

The Mayonnaise: Applied sparingly. The goal is cohesion, not drowning. One should taste lobster, not mayonnaise. Hellmann's is acceptable; house-made is preferred if the establishment can be trusted.

The Seasoning: A whisper of celery salt. Perhaps fresh chives. Nothing more. The lobster requires no elaborate seasoning; it is already perfect.

The Bun: New England split-top, toasted in butter until golden. Not grilled. Toasted. There is a difference.

The Serving: On a plate. With napkins. In an establishment that has been serving lobster rolls for at least two decades, preferably four.

In Conclusion

I have heard the arguments for butter. I have sampled, under duress, the butter preparation at several establishments that shall remain nameless. I remain unmoved.

The mayonnaise lobster roll is not merely traditional; it is correct. It is the form that the lobster roll was meant to take. To alter it is not innovation but regression.

The matter is settled.

I will be at the club this evening, should anyone wish to discuss further.

Harold Benchley III

Harold Benchley III

Food Critic (Traditionalist)

"The lobster roll was perfected in 1978 and needs no innovation."

Correspondence Welcome

Should you wish to discuss matters of culinary tradition or share your own observations on the lobster roll question, I welcome your correspondence. Harold reviews all correspondence personally.

Write to harold@ackguide.com
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